Humor: December 2009 Archives
UPDATE: Welcome Digg users! Feel free to give this a thumbs up on StumbleUpon or submit it to other social news sites. Please subscribe to the Citizen Orange RSS feed, or drop us a line if you're interested in getting more involved in the online pro-migrant movement!
Dear Mr. Santa Claus,
This is an open letter from William Gheen, president of the Americans for Legal Immigration Political Action Committee, Jim Gilchrist founder of The Minuteman Project, Peter Brimelow, founder of VDARE, Mark Krikorian, executive director of the Center for Immigration Studies, Dan Stein, president of the Federation for American Immigration Reform, Roy Beck, executive director of NumbersUSA, Lou Dobbs, Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Pat Buchanan, the members of the House Immigration Reform Caucus, and most Republicans, along with some Democrats, in the U.S. Senate.
We have just received word from the North Pole that you have been delivering presents to the United States all of these years without adhering to the proper legal immigration procedures. We ask you, Mr. Claus, the same question we ask of all illegal aliens in America, "What part of ILLEGAL don't you understand?" We ask that you cease and desist delivering presents to Americans this very Christmas Eve, or we will be forced to report you to Immigration and Customs Enforcement. You are infringing upon America's sovereignty and encouraging law-breaking by flouting a complex immigration system that few people understand.
It does not matter to us that there is, in actuality, no legal way for anyone to migrate to America from the North Pole. There is no way for most illegal aliens to migrate to America. That is the way we like it and we call any attempt to change it: AMNESTY. Yes, we enjoy writing both the words, AMNESTY, and ILLEGAL, in capital letters. They make more sense when we write them that way. We also believe it is important to tell you on this Christian holiday, Mr. Claus, that we do not believe in the Christian values of forgiveness, compassion, and mercy.